When I entered the convent it offended my pride that my agenda had money attached to it... or more precisely the lack of money. When I moved to New York City in 1995, I was going "to a job." People could understand the financial necessity, and I was simply doing what needed to be done. When I entered the convent, the situation was somewhat the same. I was going to a job. But not a job... a vocation. I had always made my various careers into vocations before, but they were still jobs. I could quit. And I often stayed at jobs that had become vocationally unbearable, but I always knew I could quit. Except in the military... and frankly I was miserable in the military. But I was very young then, and full of my own idealistic indignations. My indignations have mellowed.
The major difference here that I keep sidestepping is that I really believe God has a plan. Somehow I'm in it. And somehow this life is an integral part of how I'm supposed to do it.
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2 comments:
I can't wait for my indignations to mellow and I love that quote...I'm going to have to use it. It's much more P.C. then "take this job and shove it!"
Sometimes I think in my job-jumping pursuit of the "perfect career" I'm sidestepping God's plan out of fear and uncertainty. The conflict between God's will and my own need to succeed are reaching the breaking point.
Redefining success may be the catalyst.
Sister CJ,
I'm finding this series of musings on your vocation to be quite interesting. Thank you for a look inside some of your thoughts and feelings regarding your path, which of course interests me very much.
Peace to you
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