Saturday, January 13, 2007

Anger virus

I have two ex-husbands. If and when I post about one and not the other, old rivalry issues seem to spring up. On a good day, that's amusing. On a bad day, it's annoying. (I am annoyed.) I think there's an anger virus circulating, and the vaccine for it hasn't even been thought of, never mind invented. My second ex-husband is angry because I wrote about my first ex-husband's non-wedding anniversary and not about his, which, for the record, would have been thirty years on December 11th. If I had stayed married to him. My daughter-in-law has been angry (very angry) with apparently good reasons for the past few days. She used four-letter words to vent her frustrations. She has also been sick... and illness, more than any other adversity, can bring me down to scum level.

I had the dreaded annual physical yesterday. Good news: blood pressure is low. (I was on high blood pressure medication.) So... of the four prescriptions I'm taking, two have been discontinued. Bad news: Osteoporosis. Now I have a new pill to take once a week. I asked about the one Sally Field advertises (afterall she was the flying nun) but insurance doesn't pay for that one. It figures. Then came the blood test: I hate that part worse than all the other poking and prodding. I have small veins that roll... a lab technician's worst nightmare. Yesterday was no exception. Four puncture wounds and black and blue lumps on both arms later, he was finally able to extract the two vials he needed. Peeing in the cup was easy... all that damn water I'm drinking I guess. (label under TMI?)

Anyway, the point is: last night I was not up to par... certainly not ill enough to skip anything, but in a rotten mood from sore arms, a two-hour wait at the doctor's office, a lost day, and nothing to show for it but a new prescription. And I was angry. No reason... just angry. I went to bed as soon as Compline was over and slept it off. Today seems so different.

I think about my unexplainable grouchiness and how it affected my relationship with the other sisters. I snapped at one, whined to another, and finally just withdrew into my own personal pool of pity. I think about my second ex-husband's anger, a constant in his life. I wonder where so much of his anger comes from... is it part of the virus going around and he just has a terminal case? Somebody needs to invent a vaccine.

2 comments:

Sr. GJ said...

While this may not be a cure it sure make people feel a bit better and that's simply to love them through it. Simple but often times not easy. We love you no matter your mood!

Zanne said...

((((((CJ))))))
You were just being human.
Something that we love about you by the way! :)
Hope today is better! Hugs!