Crucible

cru‧ci‧ble  [kroo-suh-buhl]

1. a container of refractory material used for heating substances to high temperatures.
2. Metallurgy. a hollow area at the bottom of a furnace in which the metal collects.
3. a severe, searching test or trial.

I get bored so easily. It's one of my faults. I don't know how to undo a fault like boredom, except to make sure I keep myself busy, try new things, vary my schedule as much as possible.

Keep myself busy. No problem today. I'm supper cook, afternoon doorbell girl, I have a 1:00 appointment. I'm in the process of printing and cutting over a thousand pet medal tags for a giftshop I do occasional work for... I've just sent off today's braille and large print files to Lincoln Center... are you tired? Not me, I'm energized.

My printer was on the blink for several days and has just been repaired. (Thank heaven for service contracts.) I have a stack of printing projects on the back burner too. I ask myself... what is it about all this work that makes me happy? Because it does. Aside from the boredom issues, I must have work/worthiness issues. If I can work, I can feel good about myself. Until of course, I work too long and hard and experience burnout. Then I don't feel so good about anyone.

Balance. It's a tight rope you must struggle to stay on in community. It's very easy to fall off on either side. But my balance point is not the same as yours; we are unique. And understanding that one sister may need more rest on any given day than another is part of the mix. Realizing that I need more rest in any given day is even harder. This place is a crucible for sure, and I am blessed to be swimming in the heated soup of our various personalities. If you can't stand the heat you'd better not join a convent.