Making it Legal

So... none of the dream scenarios played out the way I dreamed them. That was nice.

In a multiple dimensional Universe, however, it's possible those dreams were as valid as what I experienced yesterday in the meeting. No matter how many theories and dimensions scientists postulate and science-fiction authors describe, we are trapped on this Earth (and in this time) in dense material.

Yesterday's meeting (THE meeting) was something I dreaded because there was no planning for it. I kept coming back to the scripture that says: Don't worry about what you'll say when that time comes; the Holy Spirit will give you the words you are to speak. Trusting in that was all I could do, but it didn't mean I felt no stress.

My sisters began with gracious comments. They went around the circle and many said nice things about me. (One or two compliments I can handle. A room-full is hard to digest.) The inevitable "yeah, but if you really knew me you'd say something else" flitted across my mind. But I've lived with these women for four years, They do know me. They know where all my warts are, how my temper flares when I'm under stress, how my timing is less than perfect, how bossy I can be.

The most precious comments came from the oldest sisters... women who in some ways are now losing their grip on day-to-day reality. One said, "I sit next to her in chapel, and you can tell if someone is really praying or if they are just there. I can tell you this woman really prays." The other said, "I'm just so happy she's around. I'm glad she wants to stay."

In our community we play down the whole "married to Christ" philosophy, although references to this spiritual union abound in the liturgy and in the rule. Personally, the idea strikes me as kinky, and therefore borderline blasphemy. The church as the bride of Christ doesn't do much for me either.

I can visualize the church as the body of Christ quite easily though. Picturing whether I am a fingernail vs a hangnail gives me great delight. Most days I am probably both.

The inquisition is over and I am not banished to the netherworld (yet). All agreed to wholeheartedly support my next step in the process... making it legal. Wahoo!